I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
