We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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