I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
