If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
