Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
