dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize