Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
