we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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