Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize