so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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