i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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