Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I CAN MOONWALK!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
