Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize