Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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