Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
