seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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