YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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