i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize