Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
