TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
