WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
