Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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