Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
