We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm sobbing to NWA
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
