Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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