I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
