I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
