my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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