i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
