What a fucking waste of an outfit
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
two words: eviction party
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
