We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
