This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
