I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
