something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
im on a boat
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