wakey wakey hands off snakey
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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