No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize