Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
