they need to just BURY HIM!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
