its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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