I got her a Nickelback box set.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize