So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
