and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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