I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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