when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
