haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
