I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
