turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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