its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize