Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
