I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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