Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
