I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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