he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
