Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Two words: blizzard sex
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
