I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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