Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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