Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
