I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize