Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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