my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
