Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize