that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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