We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize