I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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