I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize