i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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